Why Playfulness is Important in a Relationship

Why Playfulness is Important in a Relationship
By Shawnna Jocelyn

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that relationships are a lot like roller coasters—thrilling, sometimes scary, full of unexpected twists, but always better when you’re laughing and holding on together. I’ve been married before, I’ve raised children, and I’ve navigated the ups and downs of love long enough to understand one simple truth: if you don’t keep things playful, life—and your relationship—can get dull real fast.

When I first married John, I realized something quickly—this man LOVES to joke. He will crack a joke in the middle of a serious conversation, make a pun at the worst time, and do something goofy just to see me roll my eyes and laugh. At first, I thought, “This man is ridiculous.” But then I noticed something deeper: his playfulness brought us closer. It softened moments of tension, it created inside jokes that only we understood, and it reminded me that love is supposed to be lighthearted, not just another checklist of responsibilities.

The Power of Playfulness

So why is playfulness so important? Well, think about it. When we were kids, we bonded with our friends by playing—laughing, running around, making up stories. As adults, we often forget that play is a powerful way to connect. Life gets serious, bills pile up, work stresses us out, and if we’re not careful, our relationship turns into nothing but business meetings about who’s cooking dinner and who’s paying the water bill.

Playfulness keeps the spark alive. It reminds us that love should feel good. That we don’t always have to be in “serious mode” to be connected. It’s the little things—tickling your partner, playing a game together, making funny voices, or dancing in the kitchen while making dinner. These are the moments that create lasting memories and deepen intimacy.

Lessons I’ve Learned

I wasn’t always playful in relationships. In my past, I thought love was about proving yourself, about making sure you were doing all the “right” things. But that mindset made things heavy. I felt like I was constantly working to make the relationship perfect instead of just enjoying the person I was with.

With John, I learned that perfection isn’t the goal—connection is. And one of the best ways to stay connected is to laugh together, to be silly, and to not take everything so seriously. Whether it’s playing a game, teasing each other, or just embracing those “you are so weird, but I love it” moments, I’ve come to appreciate that keeping things fun is just as important as deep conversations and serious commitments.

How to Add Playfulness to Your Relationship

If you feel like your relationship has gotten a little too serious, here are some easy ways to bring playfulness back:

1. Inside Jokes: Create little jokes only you and your partner understand. They’re free, they’re fun, and they make you feel like you have a secret world together.
2. Surprise Games: Hide a little note somewhere unexpected, start a random game of tag in the house, or challenge your partner to a dance-off in the living room.
3. Be Goofy: Make faces, speak in silly accents, or act out dramatic soap opera scenes while folding laundry.
4. Try Something New: Take a class together, learn a new skill, or try a fun challenge that makes you both laugh.
5. Flirt Like You Just Met: Send playful texts, wink at them from across the room, and keep that playful energy alive.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, relationships are meant to be enjoyed. If you can’t laugh with the person you love, what’s the point? Life is too short to be serious all the time. Love should feel like coming home—not just to safety, but to joy, to fun, and to a person who reminds you to smile even on the toughest days.

So to all my couples out there—be silly, be playful, and never stop having fun together. Your love will thank you for it.